Personal Development and Kids: Teaching Failure and Success

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kidhotairballonWe are responsible for teaching our kids personal development. At least until their teenage years. Not only do we have the obligation to teach our own kids, but also to be a positive influence on any children we have contact with. Let them know personal development is important.

Of course, as with most things concerning kids, the direct approach is not the most effective. You don’t want to sit your children down and explain the idea of personal development to them and talk about why it’s important for their future. Unless you’re looking for a bedtime story.

Instead, you need to teach by being an example, using examples, and having a consistent mindset for self improvement. And, you need to think carefully about the message you convey.

As adults we define success as having a good job, having a lot of money, being in a happy marriage with the “right” number of kids, driving a nice car. And we traditionally expect our kids to follow a path that will lead them to have this type of success.

So we expect from our kids that they will get good grades, choose a good college, hang out with the other “good” kids, be in the band or on the sports team (and be good at it). We oftentimes push our kids to be the best that they can be. And because they’re our kids, that means they’ll get A’s, and go away to highly ranked schools with all of their friends. They’ll be first chair in the band, and first string on the team.

But not every kid will be all those things. In fact, few will. And many don’t even want those things. Which doesn’t mean they’ll grow up to be “failures.” Maybe that just isn’t where their focus is now. Or maybe they’ll take a different path to success. Or maybe, [shudder, shudder] that just isn’t their definition of success.

Instead of pushing our kids to meet a societal-imposed definition of success, we need to praise them for being who they are. Look for the positive and constantly re-enforce it. Even if the positive is the ability to find matching clothes and be ready for school on time.

If we constantly just push for more and better, our kids start feeling like no matter what they do, they’ve failed. If we praise their everyday efforts and re-enforce their positive involvement in the things that are important to them, then they will feel like a success.

If our kids feel successful giving their personal best in the things that are of interest to them, they will feel empowered to do anything they want to do in life. If we expect less and praise more, our kids will likely be happier and feel more successful in life than if we try to do them the “favor” of pushing them to be the best at something we find important to success.

Just something to think about next time you start to yell at your child for making a bad pass on the court.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has been enjoying the time freedom and financial rewards of working at home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Discover the Seven Simple Success Steps in Jennifer’s free mini-course designed to give you the tools to grow yourself and your home business.

Too Lazy for Home Business Success?

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comfort_zoneMost of us resist change, consciously or not.  We are comfortable in the predictability of our routine, even as we realize our lives are far from the “perfect” we imagine.

This “comfort zone” that we float through life in is seriously challenged by our desire for the time and financial freedom a successful home business will bring.

There’s a part of us that wants to change our lives almost completely.  And you may argue that it’s not just a part of you, that you – 100% all the way — want to change your life.  And maybe you’re right.  But what I have found is that most of us struggle between the comfort zone that is our life, and the desire to completely change our life.

One of the hurdles to home business success for many of us is that things in our lives just aren’t that bad.  We have a home, food on the table, a steady income, all the basic necessities of life.  We want a better life.  But fortunately, we don’t really need a better life.

I used to see examples of this in my life often.  And it always made me mad.  Yet, it took me years to correct it.  To get over it, or through it, or whatever.

I have an offline business that I’m reasonably happy with.  It more than pays the bills.  Whenever something happened in that business that really upset me, I would say to myself, “This is it.  I’m not doing this anymore.  I’m going to work my online business 24 hours a day until I make enough money to quit my other business.”

And then, a couple of days would pass.  Or something good would happen.  And my determination would pass.  I’d suddenly be too tired that night.  I’d go to bed before taking the steps I knew were essential to building a successful home business.  I’d slip back into my dreaded comfort zone.  My obsession with home business success would fade just a little.

So how do you get past it?  How do you get your lazy self up off the couch after a ten hour day and put in two or three more hours?

Not everyone will agree with this.  But I say the best way to really change your life is to kick yourself out of your comfort zone.  Don’t step outside it.  Run crazily from it.  Without looking back.  Burn your bridges so you’ll have no choice.  Grow a successful home business, or lose your house.  Because if these are the stakes, you’ll find a way to do it.

You might feel like it’s too risky.  Like the stakes are too high.  But, if you doubt you can do it, you’re right, you can’t.

All I know, is once I announced my intention to give up my other business, and took affirmative steps to do so, my online business started to take off like never before.  Because it had to.

Go do it!

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids.  She has been enjoying the time freedom and financial rewards of working from home for over 11 years.  Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to achieve success through a positive mindset and consistent action.  Learn how to get out of your comfort zone everyday with Jim Rohn’s One Year Success Plan, the most complete and achievable personal development plan ever.  Take action now by claiming your free copy of Jennifer’s new Seven Simple Success Steps mini-course.

Work From Home and Simplify Your Life

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simplify-your-lifeRemember when you first started your work from home journey?  You were likely attracted by the promise that making money online was easy.  And the pictures of the house you could buy, the cars you could drive, and the vacations you could take just a few months into your work from home business.

Unfortunately, it hasn’t turned out to be that easy at all.  Instead of having an easier life, you’re likely feeling more overwhelmed than ever.  It’s not as easy as a couple of hours a night.  Not if you want to succeed in this lifetime.  And the work it takes to grow a successful work from home business is anything but easy.

A couple of years into my journey to grow a successful work from home online business, I realized something that troubled me a lot.  This new business that was suppose to bring me happiness and freedom and all things good, was actually making me more miserable than ever.

Once I realized what it takes to grow a five figure a month business, I was completely overwhelmed.  Yes, I’d finally figured out what I have to do, but I have no computer knowledge and am completely right-brained.

How would I ever be able to learn and implement everything it takes?  If you haven’t had this feeling of being completely overwhelmed, you are probably still deluding yourself as to the effort and skill necessary to successfully work from home.

Don’t despair.  As with most every problem, a little personal development and self improvement work can turn things around for you.

How you think about things is everything.  So the first thing you are going to do is stop saying to yourself, “There’s no way I have the knowledge, skill or time to do this.”

Instead, think about how working from home is going to simplify your life.  Working from home will give you so much more time.  I can throw in a load of laundry while I work.  And fold it during a break.  I can take my kids to activities during the day, freeing up the evenings for dinner and bedtime without all the rush.  And, I can go to the gym at night, which is a mental health break I couldn’t do without.

If I were slave to a time clock and a commute, there’s no way I could come home from work, make dinner, take the kids to gymnastics, go to the gym myself, and get everyone in bed before midnight.  I’m worn out just thinking about it.

Start using your visualization and affirmation time to focus on how simple your life is.  Not how simple it’s going to be.  You’re programming your subconscious mind to believe that you’re already living the life you want.

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how to simplify your day while you’re still juggling your j-o-b and your work from home business.  Then, your mindset will match your actions, and you’ll be happily on your way to work from home success.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids.  She has been enjoying the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years.  Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mindset and consistent action.  Start simplifying your life today with the Seven Simple Success Steps, Jennifer’s free mini-course designed to get you on track to work from home success.

Personal Growth: If You Believe, You Can Achieve

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believecatI love the Napolean Hill quote, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”   Sounds easy.  Yet one of the biggest reasons people can’t change their lives is simply that they don’t believe they can.

I got an email from an internet marketer the other day promoting a training for people who aren’t having the success they want.  The email promised that the training wasn’t about that “mindset crap.”  Instead, it was going to tell me exactly what I need to do to achieve online business success.

Here’s my problem with that.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who can tell you exactly what you need to do to grow a successful online business.  If you’ve been buying online marketing how-to products for a day, you probably own a product that gives you the mechanics you need.

The difference in those who succeed and those who quit is that the successful believed they would be successful.  And that belief translates into consistent, positive action.  Ironically, if you succeed with the course that doesn’t give you any of that “mindset crap,” it’s because your mindset is where it needs to be.

Here’s what happens if you don’t believe you can achieve success.  You buy a how-to course.  You start doing what it says.  You may follow the course for a day, a week, or a month.  But something happens somewhere along the way.  You don’t make money your first week.  This isn’t as easy as you thought.  It’s too hard to spend two hours a day on this.  You don’t have time.  You don’t have the technical skills required.  This doesn’t work.

And so you stop.  In your mind, it’s not your fault.  The course “didn’t work.”  The fact is, however, that about 90% of the reputable courses out there will work if you work them.  But if you don’t believe that you’ll succeed, you make an excuse to stop working.

If you do believe, it goes more like this.  You buy the same how-to course.  Initially, many of the same things happen to you.  You don’t make money the first week, or even the first month.  It’s harder than you think.  You become discouraged.

But the similarities in you and the non-believer end there.  You have a burning desire to succeed.  You are motivated by your family, your debt, your job . . .whatever.  Quitting is not an option for you because you know persistence pays off.  And you don’t quit until it does.  And so it does.

Many people have the attitude of “okay, I believe, now let’s get on with how to do it.”  That’s not enough.  You can’t just say it, you really have to feel it.

To become a believer in yourself you must consistently work on your personal growth.  Every day.  Before you buy another how-to course, develop a personal growth plan.  You will feel a difference in your life within days.  And the difference will change your life forever.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids.  She has been enjoying the time freedom and financial rewards of working from home for over 11 years.  Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to achieve success through a positive mindset and consistent action.  Start believing in yourself today with Jim Rohn’s One Year Success Plan, the most complete and achievable personal development plan ever.  Take action now by claiming your free copy of Jennifer’s new Seven Simple Success Steps mini-course.

Working at Home: Are You Too Busy to Succeed?

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messydeskMy first inclination is to say that the number one reason people don’t succeed in working at home is that they just don’t have time to build a successful business.  But really, this isn’t the reason people don’t succeed, it’s the excuse people have when they give up.

Time was always my number one excuse as I struggled to develop a successful work from home online business.  Still is if I’m not careful.

One thing I have learned is that there is no legitimate reason for failing in your work from home business.  There are a lot of excuses.  Not surprisingly, those who embrace the excuses quit in failure.  Those who refuse to hear the excuses that pop up daily, succeed.

Usually, not having enough time to work on your business is a pretty legitimate excuse.  But it’s still just that — an excuse.  And you’ve got to eliminate it or your work from home online business will fail.

You can first take comfort in knowing that it probably isn’t your fault.  Most of us are sucked into our first work from home business opportunity with the promise that we can build our fortune in our spare time.  Just turn off the tv at night and spend a couple of hours on your business and riches will overflow.

Not so much.  Do you really watch two hours of tv a night?  I probably had the tv on for two hours a night before I had kids.  But it’s not just as easy as turning it off, for two reasons.

First, you’re likely not just sitting there in a vegetative state watching tv.  You’re folding laundry, spending time with your family, getting ready for tomorrow — all things that still have to be done even if the tv’s off.

Second, if you are solely engaged in the mind-numbing task of watching tv, there’s likely a reason for it.  You’ve been up for 12 hours and multi-tasking for at least 11 of those hours.  To pull yourself out of the tv trance and into the grind of building a work from home online business is hard, to put it mildly.

My point is, the one thing most all of us have in common is that we are busy.  And that makes the claim that it’s “easy” to build your business “in your spare time” an absolute fallacy.

But don’t despair.  You can do it.  There are two simple but crucial steps to annihilating the busy excuse.

First, get your mindset right.  Never again say that you’re too busy to take steps towards your online business success.  As one of my affirmations, I often say “all the time I need is within me now.”  You may not succeed as fast as you would if you had 8 hours a day, but you will succeed.  And ultimately, isn’t that all that matters?

Second, reaffirm your burning desire to change your life, and put it into action.  Consistently make the time you need to do the things that must be done.  I generally sleep about 4 hours a night.  I’d like to sleep 6 hours.  But I can’t figure out how to make it work.  So until I find the 4 hour work week, it’s 4 hours a night.

You know what you need to do to find the time.  Reject the excuses.  Start doing it today.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has enjoyed the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Start changing your life today while reading a novel with the Twelve Pillars Audio Success System.

Why Is It So Hard To Change Your Life?

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change-your-life treeI always tell people that if they aren’t happy with their life, then change it. And I believe that. I don’t think there’s much room for complaining. If you don’t like your job, do something else. If you’re not happy in your relationship, fix it or get out.

Many people dream of doing, being or having something different. But that’s all it is, a dream. Very few of us turn the dream into a goal by giving it a deadline.

If more people did live their dreams, what a crazy, happy world it would be.

Changing your life– creating the life you want — is hard. Most people don’t like “hard.” Society conditions us to seek the “get rich (and happy) quick” path.

What makes it so easy to say, “if you don’t like your life, change it,” and at the same time makes it so hard to actually significantly change your life? There are four big reasons that it’s so hard.

First, life is too busy. Most of us struggle to meet all of the daily obligations we have. It’s hard to fit in something more. It’s hard to commit to additional responsibilities — even if they are designed to make your life better — when you have to do things to keep your j-o-b, to take care of your kids, to keep your house from becoming a health hazard.

Second, is lack of belief. If I gave you a blueprint that was guaranteed to change your life, to bring you personal and financial success, you would do about anything to accomplish it. IF you were 100% certain that it would work.

Most people don’t believe they can make the changes that will bring them unlimited success. Either because that’s what we’ve been programmed to believe, or because we’ve tried so many different things and succeeded at none of them.

Third, changing your life is an overwhelming task. It requires a lot of work. We have to completely change our mindset. This requires consistent focus on personal development.

We also have to build a successful work from home business. This requires consistent effort. On top of the work you do from 9-5.

A lot of people never get past the “idea” stage, simply because they are so overwhelmed that they are literally paralyzed and can’t take the necessary action.

Finally, for most of us, things aren’t really that bad. We simply aren’t unhappy enough to have a burning desire to change. Yes, we may be struggling. But we’re not homeless and we have food on the table.

I think that’s why we hear frequent stories about people who couldn’t pay the rent or couldn’t support their kids, making it big. Because they had to. There’s a different motivation when it’s do or die. And, if you don’t have a job, you certainly have more time to work on yourself and your business.

If you see yourself in any of these four reasons, come back tomorrow and we’ll start talking about how to make the hard task of changing your life much more “doable.”

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has enjoyed the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Start changing your life today while reading a novel with the Twelve Pillars Audio Success System.

Self Improvement: Celebrate Your Freedom Now

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freedomtreeI confess that I had so much to do and so much fun over the holiday weekend that I just got to reading my emails from the weekend. And naturally, every internet marketer whose list I’m on had an Independence Day email for me.

Most of them had the typical “find your financial independence today” message. Most of them talked about the freedom of owning a successful online business. I got a couple of emails that claimed I wasn’t free at all unless I had developed a business that allowed me to do whatever I want whenever I want.

I obviously got the point of the emails claiming that if I was mired in debt, and a slave to a time clock and a boss I didn’t like, I wasn’t “free” at all. A depressing message that I am thankful not to have read over a nice holiday weekend. I question how much thought goes into such a message. Especially when the sender knows that 99% of his/her list aren’t “free” under this definition.

More important than questioning the wisdom of sending the message, however, I question the truth in the message. In fact, I absolutely disagree with the idea that you aren’t “free” simply because you can’t pick up and go whenever and wherever you want.

On the other hand, I completely agree with the emails I got encouraging me to declare my financial independence now. Because although you may not be financially free today, you are free to declare your financial independence today.

You are free to change anything you want today. Free to change your attitude to one of determination to not stop until you succeed. Free to start turning off the tv every night and working on your business instead. Free to learn how to put up your first website today. Free to start taking one step each day towards your success.

Suggesting that you aren’t free because you haven’t “made it” yet is so limiting. It’s exactly why most people never succeed. Because they don’t believe or understand that they have the freedom to do whatever they want to do.

And this is wrong. Whether you’re $100,000 in debt and have no business experience or knowledge, or you have lots of extra cash and are an experienced entrepreneur — it doesn’t matter. You are free to take the first step towards whatever you want to be, TODAY.

The holiday is over. It’s back to business. Don’t make excuses. Don’t wait to put it on your New Year’s resolutions list. Today is as good a day as any to start. Because if you start today, you’ll begin feeling the success you’re working towards one day sooner than if you start tomorrow.

You are free. Realize what a gift that is and take advantage of it. Today.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has enjoyed the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Discover the Seven Simple Success Steps for free in Jennifer’s new mini-course designed to provide you the tools to change your life and find home business success.

Mindfulness: Becoming Happier and Healthier

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What exactly does mindfulness mean? To be mindful is to be present in the moment without passing judgment on the moment. Just being. Mindfulness has its roots in Zen Buddhism. So who better than Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh to define mindfulness for us:

One of my favorite quotes is “The present moment holds infinite riches beyond our wildest dreams.” But are we ever in the present moment? Most of us find ourselves constantly occupied with something — other than what’s going on at the present moment. What to have for dinner. How to get the kids everywhere they need to go. How to pay the bills. What to do about your intolerable boss. And on and on.

How can practicing mindfulness help our personal growth journey? Just do it and you’ll see. Mindfulness will calm your thoughts and emotions. It will lessen your anxiety and stress. Mindfulness will improve your relationships, with those you’re close to and those you have a passing encounter with in line at the grocery store.

The practice of mindfulness is being used by health professionals — mental and physical — to cure their patients’ ailments. I’ve read about mindfulness being used to help conditions such as fibromyalgia and other chronic pain. And about Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy being used by therapists in cases of depression and anxiety.

The medical and “professional” side of things is beyond my focus on personal development. I mention it because the fact that the practice of mindfulness is expanding into the outer edges of the mainstream illustrates its power.

I have a theory that spending some time every day in mindful meditation will actually make me more productive than endless multi-tasking. Accomplishing more by doing less. Who can argue with that? In time, I’ll let you know whether productive mindfulness is a fact, or just a great sounding theory.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has enjoyed the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Discover the Seven Simple Success Steps for free in Jennifer’s new mini-course designed to provide you the tools to change your life and find home business success.

Best Personal Growth Practices: Mindfulness v. Multi-Tasking

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mindfulnesscollageFor most of us, multi-tasking is not at all an option. Entrepreneurs, it seems to me, are born multi-taskers. Not only do we accept it as a part of life, we demand it.

I’m incapable of sitting on the couch and watching tv. It may occupy my eyes, but it’s mindless. And what do I do with my hands? Same with talking on the phone. It takes one hand, at most. I usually eat dinner while I clean up the kitchen and talk on the phone or to my kids. I enjoy seeing how much I can accomplish at once.

But last night, on the eve of my son’s first birthday, I thought (for the first time in a long time) about the value of mindfulness. We were snuggling on our big comfy chair in the bedroom as I tried to calm him into sleepiness. My other kids were in the room, vowing to be “quiet,” which to a 4 and 2-year-old actually means a “quiet roar.”

I found myself longing to be alone with just my baby. Longing to have all the time in the world to enjoy his smiles and snuggles, his soft skin and tiny fingers. I didn’t want to do anything during my time with him other than have my time with him.

I often remember something I read in a book by the Zen Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. What should an enlightened person think while washing the dishes he asks? He should think about washing the dishes, of course. I used to do this, before my life got complicated. I would really focus on the act of washing the dishes. I would consciously keep my mind from wandering elsewhere. It was a surprisingly good feeling.

These days, while I wash the dishes I always have my I-Pod going. I feel like I’m wasting time if I’m not listening to a self improvement or business training program. At the very least, I’m repeating affirmations or practicing visualization.

Ironically, I wonder if I’m not doing a disservice to my personal growth path when I listen to personal growth programs while washing the dishes. Is there personal growth in mindfulness? In being present in the moment? No matter how insignificant that moment might be. Or seem to be.

The answer is yes. Which doesn’t mean I’m advocating or even remotely thinking about giving up multi-tasking. I’m addicted to it. And I believe it often serves me well. I make way more money sitting on the couch watching tv and working on my online business than my fellow man who sits on the couch watching tv with a beer in hand.

But I’m convinced that we need to be more mindful. I’ve heard that you should meditate 30 minutes a day unless you’re really busy. In which case you should meditate 60 minutes. The same principle applies to mindfulness. The more hectic we are, the more we need to be conscious of opportunities to be mindful.

We’ll talk about the ways mindfulness furthers our personal growth path next time.

JENNIFER HERNDON works from home with her kids. She has enjoyed the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to success through a positive mindset and consistent action. Discover the Seven Simple Success Steps for free in Jennifer’s new mini-course designed to provide you the tools to change your life and find home business success.

Declutter Your House — and Your Mind

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Since I told you to declutter yesterday as part of your self improvement journey, I feel compelled to give you some idea of HOW to go about that. Having confessed my struggles with this issue, I figured you would laugh if I tried to give you decluttering tips.

Instead, I’ll share with you a couple of resources I’m using to try to kick the clutter habit. These have been most helpful to me. First, here’s a short video from John Tesh:

I love the visualization of things bursting into flames. I’m using that every time I’m tempted to put something where it doesn’t belong. It doesn’t always work yet. But I’m trying to get it into my subconscious mind through repetition.

The second thing that’s been really helpful to me is a blog post that Leo Babauta did on his Zen Habits blog. It’s called A Simple Guide to Keeping Your Counters Clutter-Free

It’s well worth reading the whole post. Here’s what I’ve implemented. At least once a week (baby steps), clear one flat surface. Put back only the things I love. Recycle what I don’t and never will need. Tuck away in a box the things I can’t part with. Write the date on the box. Six months later, anything I haven’t looked for in the box — get rid of.

Slowly this decluttering mission is making a difference to me. I am feeling better just by doing it, although I’m far from done. I’ll let you know how my “inside” feels when I’m done with the outside.

JENNIFER HERNDON works at home with her kids. She has been enjoying the time freedom and financial benefits of working from home for over 11 years. Jennifer’s passion is empowering you to achieve success through a positive mental attitude and consistent action. Discover the Seven Simple Success Steps for free in Jennifer’s new mini-course.